Everyone has a post about PVP behavior in some capacity. A quick search of Reddit or YouTube and you will find dozens of horror stories of players who disrupt games, break games, cheat or exhibit a multitude of other bad behaviors.
The truth is that even the best group, can experience these problems. I have great friend’s I’ve played with in the past that just clash with groups. Here are a couple of examples of things that I consider Player vs Player behavior or game breaking behavior:
- One player keeps trying to steal from other members of the party.
- A player who actively keeps relevant game information from the party.
- A player who attacks or sets up traps for players.
- A player who exhibits murder hobo behavior.
- A player who makes jokes or behaviors that make other players uncomfortable.
- Actively trying to break the DM’s game, by trying to cheat past puzzles, derail adventures, etc.
There are a lot of other options, but these are common, and the most common justification being “That’s what my character would do.”
There are lots of posts on how to deal with this, and generally I have some recommendations:
Tip #1 – Session Zero and 3 strikes
As a general rule, everyone will say this should be talked about in the session zero, and while I agree to a point I think there is a problem with people not approaching this in the right way. In my experience, Gamebreakers are doing so for selfish reasons, so telling them “Let’s not do any of this…” isn’t going to cut it.
When I meet with a group, especially for the first time, I go as far as to set rules for this, and those rules are the following:
- Explain what I consider “Game breaking behavior.”
- Inform players that Dungeons and Dragons is a cooperative game, and that we are all here for that reason.
- I implement a 3 strikes rule, where anytime a player exhibits game breaking behavior, that constitutes a strike, and if I get to 3 strikes, they are going to be asked to leave.
Now, I am careful to provide warnings wherever I can, especially with new players to encourage good cooperative behavior at the table. And I also want to be clear that I am focused on providing a safe space at my table, and don’t want to stop players from having different opinions.
This is just for malicious behavior that’s designed to ruin the game.
Tip #2 – Give players the benefit of the doubt
Generally speaking, most people aren’t jerks on purpose, and odds are if your playing with someone, they are either a friend of yours, or a friend of a friend. So generally speaking if someone is exhibiting bad behavior, I recommend talking to the player, and try to find out the reason they are doing what they are doing.
I tend to try and embrace the philosophy of “ignorance not malice.”
And what I mean by that, is that in most cases players don’t realize they are having a negative impact on the game. And when you talk to them about it, they usually adjust and correct whatever they are doing.
Tip #3 – Remember people are here to have fun
This is an easy one to forget, but everyone is here to have fun. And you want to make sure that you are fostering a game that truly embraces that mentality. But one thing to also consider is that with the 3 pillars of Dungeons and Dragons (Exploration, roleplay, and combat), everyone enjoys different elements of the game.
Specifically I mean that you want to make sure you are running a game that checks boxes for everyone. Not just a few, or even yourself. In my experience sometimes players who started to lash out at the table are doing so because they are bored. If you have someone who enjoys combat, and you are running a political intrigue role playing game, they might be board out of their mind.
In these scenarios, there are really two options for handling this. Option 1, adjust your game to make sure you include the elements they are looking for. This should be addressed in the session zero, and if not can always be addressed after. And honestly, comprise can solve this problem. If you have a few players who really want combat, just talk to the other players and tell them you are going to be supporting a better mix.
Option 2, is that unfortunately you just might need to part ways. I’ve had this happen a few times where I had a group of players that wanted a big epic story, with lots of combat and role play, and a player who said “I don’t ever want to take notes.” And then basically would start side conversations when it wasn’t combat. I tried working with them to adjust the mix of things but it basically boiled down to a difference in styles of play. I spoke to the player and we agreed it wasn’t working and they stopped playing in our game.
That situation was really amicable, but sometimes they aren’t and you just have to ask the players to leave and remove them from the game. These are regrettable but they do happen. I just to set an example by making sure I hold no malice in these situations and just say for the benefit of the table we had to make a change.